


double entendre

by SilveryxDark



Category: Alice Nine
Genre: Bad Dirty Talk, Blow Jobs, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Hand Jobs, Innuendo, M/M, So much Innuendo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-24
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-05 22:53:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4198098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilveryxDark/pseuds/SilveryxDark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by <a href="http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/121930091101/imagine-one-day-person-a-is-making-dinner-and-b">this OTP Prompt</a> on Tumblr: Imagine one day Person A is making dinner and B comes up to them, notices the food, and joking says in their most seductive voice “Oh yeah, that such a nice, huge sausage you’re cooking up.” Cue A slapping B away for their inappropriate comment while B walks away, throwing in “You sure you don’t want some fruit or veggies with that? Like some nice round, juicy peaches or a few cucumbers?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO OUR FAVOURITE PIZZA LOVING BASSIST!
> 
> Just a note that while there's no sex in THIS chapter, the story will definitely live up to its rating in the next one o3o I'm a nice person ovo Have fun reading, and all comments etc are really appreciated!

Over a decade of knowing Saga and several years of dating him should probably have given Tora some kind of immunity, or  _something_ , towards Saga’s terrible, dirty jokes. Or he should have expected this. Something like that, really.  
  
“Saga, can you  _not_?” Tora said, staring at his boyfriend, who was grinning ever so smugly at him.  
  
“What? I was just making an observation! The sausages are really big!” Saga protested, voice all faux innocence.  
  
“Oh yes, I’m absolutely certain that wasn’t a dick joke,” Tora muttered, rolling his eyes, while hoping very hard that his cheeks weren’t warming up (it was just the fire from the pan).  
  
“Oh! You know, I’m sure some mayonnaise would go really well with them!” Saga said loudly, as though Tora hadn’t even spoken. “Mm, I can imagine it now, streaks of white mayonnaise -”  
  
Tora rolled his eyes and elbowed Saga lightly. “Saga.  _Please_  getout of my kitchen if you aren’t helping to cook.”  
  
“Alright, darling, I’ll leave you to it then,” Saga said cheerfully, and turned to walk away - but not before he stopped at the far end of the counter. “Hmm, maybe I should eat something healthier for breakfast instead... Ooh, this banana looks huge!”  
  
Tora let out a groan of very-much-not-desire and very-much-definitely-distress. “Saga, please.”  
  
Saga held out the banana to him, smiling all too sweetly. “Hm? Do you want a banana for breakfast too?”  
  
“No, I meant… Okay, um, maybe you can help me toast a slice of bread while you’re here. And you… you can have the banana...” Tora responded, looking back down at the pan.  
  
“Of course, love,” Saga said, leaning over to peck Tora’s cheek, before he started on his own task.  
  
Tora exhaled shakily, steadfastly ignoring his boyfriend as he slid the cooked hot dogs onto two plates, one for Saga and the other two for him. He then cracked an egg for himself, as Saga hummed something to himself. From the corner of Tora’s eye, Saga appeared to be looking through the fridge while waiting for the toast. Tora watched his egg, praying that by the time it was finished cooking, Saga hadn’t done something weird. Again.  
  
“The toast’s done!” Saga announced cheerfully, dropping the piece of toast onto Tora’s plate.  
  
Tora couldn’t help but smile and thank him, before he carefully slid his perfect-looking sunny side up egg onto the plate, right on top of the bread. It looked perfect.  
  
He glanced over at Saga’s plate, and suppressed the urge to flip his own, perfectly  _innocent_  breakfast. Saga’s sausage was smeared in mayonnaise, and  _no he wasn’t thinking of anything else really_  -  
  
“Tora? You okay? Come on, let’s have breakfast!” Saga beamed.  
  
Not staring at Saga throughout breakfast proved difficult. Sure, Tora tried his best to simply eat his food, but then Saga let out what sounded suspiciously like a moan. Tora looked up just in time to see Saga push his half-eaten sausage into his mouth, lips smeared with white.  
  
He promptly choked on his last bite of toast, and Saga just looked at him with big bright eyes, head cocked to one side, and still with that sausage in his mouth. Tora hurriedly gulped down his coffee, coughing to clear his throat, and continued eating.  
  
The next time he looked up, Saga was done with his sausage, and was licking his lips slowly, long tongue curling around his mouth, before smiling at Tora. “Mm, that tasted really good. The saltiness was just nice, don’t you think?”  
  
“Well… yeah, sure,” Tora muttered, voice strangled, and looked back down at his plate.  
  
He had absolutely no idea how he could make eating look erotic the same way Saga did. And hey, it wasn’t like he had  _that_  dirty a mind. Saga was doing it all on purpose, that ass (with a nice ass). He wasn’t going to try anything, and promptly wolfed down his own sausages, steadily looking down at his plate instead.  
  
He looked up only as he finished, only to see Saga still slowly eating his banana. Saga looked far too casual about it. Tora really shouldn’t be looking at his mouth like that…  
  
“Mmm, Tora, I really like these bananas. They’re so sweet and big. Let’s get more later,” Saga said, winking at him as he finished the last of his banana.  
  
Tora nodded, glancing down at his lap, and back up. “So uh. Do you think you can help me clear the dishes?”  
  
Saga smiled. “Hmm? Something wrong?”  
  
“It isn’t... convenient to stand,” Tora murmured, glaring up at his boyfriend.  
  
“Okay then,” Saga said cheerfully, standing up smoothly as he piled their plates and cutlery together.  
  
Well, that didn't work. Tora awkwardly stood and started making his way to their bedroom, when Saga called out, “Toraaaa!”  
  
“Yeah? What’s wrong?” Tora called back, turning on his heel.  
  
Saga had the freezer door open, looking at it and then at Tora with a smile. “Say, we ran out of Magnum ice cream!”  
  
“ _Fucking_  -”  
  
“But that’s not too bad, I’ll always have your Magnum to satisfy me,” Saga said brightly, looking down at Tora’s crotch, and back up at him.  
  
Tora returned the smile, then, and was just about ready to pull his boxers down when Saga swept past him, beaming, “Anyway, I’m going down to the supermarket to restock! And maybe get more bananas, and probably some cucumbers, while I’m at it! See you in a bit, darling!”  
  
Tora stared. One thing was obvious. It was time for a long, cold shower.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late, but here's the ~juicier~ chapter as promised! Full on smut now, do have fun reading!

"I'm home!" Saga called.

“Welcome back,” Tora replied from the vicinity of the living room, not sounding too enthusiastic.

Saga giggled to himself as he headed towards the kitchen, storing everything in the refrigerator, but not before taking one of the Magnum ice cream bars for himself. He had to go to a specialty store to buy them, but they were worth it, even if just to tease Tora.

And even if Tora didn’t like to admit it, he could be rather petulant at times too, and even childish. Saga loved that side of Tora.

Saga walked to the couch, where Tora was, apparently, focusing very hard on playing some game on his PlayStation Vita. Saga sat down next to him, unwrapping the bar, and started licking it. The thickness was nice, but it was just the wrong shape. Still…

Slowly, he licked off some of the melted ice cream, and let out a moan. It was good, truly. He heard Tora make a frustrated sound, and smirked to himself. He deliberately bit off more off the chocolate shell, letting even more of the ice cream inside melt.

“Tora, it tastes really good, you know?” Saga grinned. “Do you wanna try some?”

“No, thank you,” Tora muttered. “You can enjoy it on your own.”

“I think you like it when I enjoy your Magnum,” Saga teased. “So big and thick and delicious...”

Tora actually looked at him then. Saga put on his best innocent face, save for darting his tongue out to lick at the dripping ice cream. Then he looked down at Tora’s screen, saying innocently, “Tora, you’re dying in the game.”

“Fuck!” Tora swore, hurriedly returning to his game.

Saga watched, smiling as Tora turned the tide of his battle around, just enough to survive. At the same time, Saga bit the rest of the ice cream down to a more manageable size. Then, Tora quickly saved his game and switched off his console, before glaring up at Saga, though without any real heat. This was Saga’s favourite game to play.

“It’s all your fault, Saga,” Tora said, eyes narrowed.

Saga smiled and cocked his head, pushing the rest of the ice cream bar in his mouth, sucking on it slowly. More melted ice cream dripped out the corner of his mouth, and he let it. Tora held his gaze for a short while, before his gaze flicked to Saga’s mouth, and stayed there.

Saga pulled out the now-clean ice cream stick, licking the sides of his mouth and his chin,   
moaning softly. “My fault? Hmm? Should I make it up to you them?”

“You’d better,” Tora growled, easily picking him up and settling him on his lap. “You’re a fucking tease.”

Saga let out another moan as he rubbed his crotch against Tora’s, feeling the hardness of his cock against his own. “I’m so sorry, love,” he said. “Please let me enjoy my favourite meal then...”

“You’re so greedy,” Tora said, a smile curving his lips. “Go on then. About time, isn’t it?”

Saga returned the smile, lifting himself from Tora’s lap and dropping to his knees. He pulled down Tora’s boxers slowly, relishing the sound of Tora’s groan as he freed his erection.

“Took a shower, did you?” Saga breathed. “Aw, I’m so sorry. Your cock must’ve been so hard...”

“You could have helped me earlier, you know. I seriously thought that you were going to suck me off just now,” Tora pouted.

Saga promptly closed his lips around the head of Tora’s cock, looking up at him. Tora groaned aloud, head tilted back in pleasure. Slowly, Saga continued sucking, tasting the warmth and salt of his skin, taking him in deeper.

The best part, though, was hearing the way Tora moaned above him, fingers curling in Saga’s hair, stroking his scalp. He couldn’t help his own, albeit muffled, moans, enjoying the way Tora’s hands felt in his hair. He slid his own hand into his pants, rubbing his own rapidly hardening cock.

“You’re really hungry, aren’t you?” Tora gasped, tugging slightly on Saga’s hair.

Saga whimpered, the sting of pain turning into pleasure, giving Tora a nod. The bitterness of Tora’s precum dripped onto his tongue and he swallowed it down eagerly. Saga took in more, sucking on Tora’s cock like he was starving - but then again, really, he was starving for Tora’s cock, had been for days.

It was obvious Tora would come soon, from the throbbing pulse of his cock in Saga’s mouth, and the further tightening of his fingers in Saga’s hair. Saga loved the heat and sting, knowing he was making Tora lose control.

“Fuck, Saga,” Tora hissed, and it was all the warning Saga had before hot, salty cum spilled into his mouth, coating his tongue, sliding down his throat.

Saga moaned happily, licking and sucking Tora’s cock dry, catching the final drips on his tongue. Now he really was satisfied, or would be - his erection strained almost painfully in his pants.

Tora smiled down at him, stroking his cheek with his thumb, looking sated. “Come up here,” he breathed, pulling Saga up onto his lap once more.

Saga arched back with a rough cry as Tora’s calloused fingers joined his own slackened hand, pumping his erection rapidly. He let out another moan into Tora’s mouth as he kissed him again, hungry and sloppy.

“Tora!” Saga mewled, shuddering as the knot in his belly tightened, thighs locking against Tora’s hips.

He spilled into Tora’s warm fist, hips jerking erratically as he came. He felt Tora’s hand continue to slide against his cock, still, milking him dry. It took a few more seconds before Tora raised his hand to Saga’s mouth, and Saga gave a smile, pushing his tongue out to lick at his own cum. Tora joined him, licking his own hand clean alongside him, before pulling him into yet another kiss, the tastes of their cum mingling in their mouths.

“Thank you for the meal, Tora,” Saga breathed, blinking slowly up at him and smiled. “That was so good.”

“You really had your fill today, didn’t you?” Tora purred, stroking his hair.

Saga grinned, and leaned in towards Tora’s ear, biting his earlobe lightly. “There’s always dinner tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this, any comments, kudos etc are really appreciated. And also, if you'd like, do find me on tumblr at [ruitomo](http://ruitomo.tumblr.com), I'd love to talk to you guys! ^^


End file.
